I have thought for days whether to write about this or not. I’ve been trying to keep my blog focused on my career and less on my personal life. I feel I’ve been doing a great job at that, but I do like to express myself and I bet some of my readers have to be dealing with the same thing so let’s bring it to the table.
This post I’m letting loose because it is about bullshit people. I love the person I’m becoming. I feel she’s smart, creative, a growing business, beautiful on the outside and even more on the inside. I haven’t felt this confident ever and I owe it to the people I surround myself with now. One must surround themselves with like minded people who encourage them and lift them up instead of striving to bring them down. One of the best advice my aunt has ever shared with me was …
“You give them enough rope to hang with you or hang themselves!”
I have spent too much time always trying to please people and prove myself to people who didn’t deserve it from me. People who place an important “title” on you to make you feel special but treat you like shit. People who only look for you when they need you and always remember the petty bullshit things they have done for you but cease to remember the grand bullshit you did for them, countless times!. Prude, judgmental witches always looking for something wrong with you to make themselves feel better. I ask myself now WHY DID I BOTHER!?, Why did I stress myself out over and over again with all their bullshit when in reality all they were doing was making my feel lower than I truly am.
Why did I bother with a “best friend” who chooses her idiotic boyfriend over everything including her own life, when that asshole does nothing but hurt her. I wish she would put more focus on her PR career, but she is so damn whipped on his dick, she praises his f****g shit. She thinks the problem in our “friendship” is him and actually it’s not it’s her! It’s the way she treats the relationship. If your my so-called best friend why don’t you call me or text me or see me…often? Why must I have to “catch” you up with my life when you should know it, if your my right hand..?! I spent close to 4 years trying to deal with his control in her life but after she literally told me she chose him over me any day, I throw my hands up and shrugged my shoulders. Roped.
Why did I bother with another “best friend” that only thinks about herself even at times where she literally sees you at your lowest?! It doesn’t make a difference if I know you for 100 years or 1 month if you’re a genuinely good friend to me that’s what I count. I feel a good friendship will stand the test of time. Why does she love to remind me, we been friends for close to 10 years…..I look back and we’ve been true friends for the past 3 years. Most of our friendship has been catty, fake and full of lies. Why have a friend that finds a problem with almost everything. She feels like her life and her problems are so much more important than yours. I must drop my life to cater to her every word and need. Yet, if I need something I must beg her to get a maybe !
I’ll admit, I always knew I was some type of competition to her and I don’t know why. I never have and never will look at any of my friends as a competition but for some reason I always make friends with witches that see me as one. A lot of people say I don’t give myself enough credit. May be I don’t but regardless I feel a real friend will never find you a threat in any way. After the last conversation I had with this one, she truly let out her real feelings about me and it was so cruel and crazy, I actually felt RELIEVED!
I felt nothing but relief, because now I don’t feel bad officially cutting both of them out of my life. I’ve been secretly giving myself breaks from them here and there because they really stress me the fuck out ! A friendship should not be that stressful. In that conversation, I could have replied to her and said some crazy hurtful facts but I’m not that person anymore. There is no need for me to rip her a new asshole. What do I get from that?… nothing but an enemy. I ended the conversation saying “I’m Done… I really don’t care anymore” and I meant that with every fiber in my body.
While Ms. Strong Man and Senora Drama was doing their bullshit like always, I developed the best relationship I could ever ask for. I been searching and praying for a friendship like this. A friendship that’s real, not judgmental, supportive, raw, fun, crazy, spontaneous, straight forward, and I will say it again real. I’m completely myself with her, I trust her almost as much as I trust my sister and I can share things with her on an artistic level.
I definitely and finally found my ride or die. My down chick, my right hand! I love this girl with every part of my heart. I truly feel blessed by god to have been given a friend like her. It’s crazy because I have known her for years, been in and out of social circles with her, so never in a million years would I think the lord would make her out of all the people who have come in to my life, the person to be my missing piece. I truly have never been as happy as I am with a friend as I am with her. It may sound like I’m a lesbian or something, but I’m not lol.
It’s very true that when you get older your circle of friends get smaller and smaller. I’m more comfortable with that idea now than ever. I’m happy to say that as I rise and focus on the more important things and surround myself with like-minded people, life is becoming so much more sweeter. I spend the last 3 years dealing with bad friendships, and heart breaks. My days aren’t as gray anymore and I’m already on to the next chapter in my life. I don’t have the time or the energy to give to bullshit anymore. So I’ll end this by saying have fun playing in your drama and if you can catch up see you on the bright side.
Sincerely, Tee <3